Keepin' it Real is Not Always Pretty

Oh boy, talk about fighting words.

“Just wait until you have kids, then you’ll know what busy really is.”

This was a comment left on a colleague’s post, and it stirred up a lot of feelings for a lot of people (including myself). At first glance, I was like, “Yeah, I get it.” With four kids in four different schools and being an entrepreneur myself, I can see where this person is coming from. Because boy oh boy, having kids and a career is not for the faint of heart.

But—having kids doesn’t mean that people without children are less busy. It’s just a different kind of busy. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Being a parent doesn’t mean your “busy” deserves more validation, and not having kids doesn’t mean your schedule is any less full or important. So why get our panties all in a twist? Maybe because deep down we know this would never be said to a man, yet somehow people feel it’s okay to say it to women.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, I guess because I get both points. People often tell me, “I don’t know how you do it.” My answer? My mom lives with us and she’s the MVP. My husband helps hold the fort down. My sister and mother-in-law are always ready to lend a hand so we can pursue our dreams and I can do this work. It truly takes a village!

At the end of the day, parents and non-parents need to realize that being busy is relative. Just like having one kid versus having four.

Your first kid feels like the end of the world—you can’t imagine having more. Then by your fourth, muscle memory kicks in, and you breeze through it. Your feral youngest is practically raising itself (just kidding, not really!).

It’s simply less overwhelming than the first time around. You know what to expect, you move through the motions, and you’re less afraid. Been there, done that. Until they hit the tween years—right when you’re hitting perimenopause. And suddenly it’s a whole new territory for everyone.

Another freaky milestone to navigate while trying to build a business, hoping you’re not failing as a mom (and as an entrepreneur), but holding onto the confidence that if all else fails, at least they can go to therapy.